For today's confession of a fashionista post, I'm sharing on the topic of friendship and love. I want to dig deep and find out whether or not it's truly possible to remain friends; being that there are strong feelings involved.
I believe that some of the greatest friendships are those we have with the opposite sex. Sometimes you can have platonic friendships with a person of the opposite sex and feel no urge to take it any further. These friendships are great because you're always there for one another, and there is no pressure to date.
I've always had guy friends, I just mesh better with males than females. I viewed my male friends as brothers or family, which made it easy to keep these friendships very platonic, and there was never an urge to take things to another level. I love these friendships because I always go to them for advice or even just to hang and it always remains innocent. It gets a little hairy when you have two individuals that knowing like each other but try to keep it friendly. This just doesn't work! As you continue reading, I've sharing my personal experience which led me to that conclusion.
Recently I was involved with a man who I fell for deeply; like really fell for. I'm even embarrassed because I don't like to be vulnerable and open up to people, so falling for him really took me for a loop. We started off cool, just casually hanging out and talking daily. Feelings grew and we started getting closer, up until he had to move away. When he moved it kind of forced us to try to just remain friends but we found ourselves in constant communication with each other. My feelings grew deeper and deeper. At this time I guess you can say that, we were lovers and friends. One day we had a conversation, I think we were both mentally drained from our personal lives and I kept feeling like things were off between us, i began to get restless and I wanted to know what we were doing, When I spoke to him about my feelings he said that we should just keep going the way we've been going; which would be lover-friends. As an immediate defense mechanism I told him that we should strictly remain platonic. No pet names, no touching, just strictly friends because I didn't want to be stuck in that friend zone. It's either you want me or you don't. He respected my decision, but deep down I knew that I didn't want to just be his friend but I didn't want to be in that middle place of lover-friends either. What was I to do?
At first it started out cool. Being that he was far away, I thought I could handle being just a friend. Things changed when he came to visit. All that friend stuff went out the window, and in his presence I found all of those deep feelings returning. Just hugging him fueled it and before I knew it I came to the realization that I couldn't just be friends with this man, the feelings were too real. I had to make a decision, its either we talk about moving forward or we go our separate ways. I think being each others "friend" was killing us softly but we both knew that we didn't want a long distance relationship and had to just focus on ourselves.
After analyzing my own story I came to the conclusion that it's not possible to strictly be friends with a man or woman whom you have deep feelings for and love. Being in their presence only makes it harder to strictly see them as a friend; especially if you guys have shared intimate moments. Being their friend is sort of like a tease to justify the fact that you both aren't in a relationship. I could write about this all day but I would love to hear your feedback please let me know what you think. Can you remain "just friends" with a person whom you have deep feelings for? Drop your comments below.