8 things I prioritized on my self-care journey
I used to treat self-care as a destination but soon discovered it’s a journey. Self-care is a rich journey full of beautiful experiences and breakthroughs. I wanted to share eight things I prioritized on my self-care journey that will now be part of my routine in 2023.
1—Rest
At the start of my self-care journey. I was physically, emotionally, and spiritually tired. My foundation was off, and my spirit/soul needed rest. So I gave myself an extended period of rest and care for myself. In society, prolonged rest is often associated with laziness or depression, but it’s self-care. Sometimes when your mind and body are at their wit's end, deep rest is needed. Also, years of consistent activity, working, traveling, being there for others, and less for yourself can be draining, so rest is necessary.
During this time of rest, I needed to practice stillness. There is a time to be active, and there is a time to be still. Rest, for me, looked like spending downtime at home with myself. For some months, I did not travel or go out often, maybe a few dinners, but nothing major. I wasn’t working out or working crazy hours. Instead, I worked when I could because, at the time, I had a job that allowed me to make my schedule, so I took advantage, worked a little, and rested more. If you can’t rest for an extended period, give yourself the weekend or even a week to relax your body and quiet your mind.
It’s essential to find time during the day to rest, not just sleep but to lounge and be with yourself. When I used to work a 9-5, I would use my lunch break to run errands, check social media, and frequently go out to eat with coworkers. I found myself returning to work super drained. Eventually, after seeing how much time was spent going out to lunch, I packed my lunch. Packing lunch saved me a lot of time, and I could enjoy my lunch break. I would suggest that if you work a 9-5, use your lunch as a time for yourself. Use your lunchtime away from your phone, and take the time to eat, rest, nap, stretch, draw or do whatever you need to feel a bit more relaxed. Suppose you are a single mom or super busy; schedule rest time. You can schedule your rest if you organize your week or days ahead of time. This will help you feel less overwhelmed, overworked, and tired.
2—Mental & Physical Detox
After prolonged rest, I felt I needed to cleanse my body and rid myself of toxins mentally and physically. I first started with social media. I took an extended period away from social media to focus on myself. While social media is fantastic, all the content ingestion clouded my voice. I took that rest to clear my mind, and I began to cleanse and detox my body. While detoxing, I ate good whole foods that nourished my body and restored my physical and mental vitality.
3—Mental Reprogramming
The detox helped me get out of my funk and regain energy and light. Once I felt that my mind was more precise and that I was open to learning new things. I then began to seek material to reprogram my mindset and values actively. I started listening to audiobooks and reading other material that helped me grow. Please click the link to some books that helped develop my mindset. Books that elevated my mindset
4—Reconnect with my inner child
Reconnecting with my inner child and self was an important step on my self-care journey. While reading books on the subconscious and mindset development, I often wondered how certain things shifted in my life. I started to read more about childhood development and how things in your childhood could impact your adult life. This prompted me to go back and look over my childhood to relearn what I enjoyed and revisit anything that may have caused me to develop certain character flaws. In looking back on my childhood, I gained such insight. I remember how vibrant and outgoing I was as a child. I could also pinpoint exactly in my childhood when there was a shift. In revisiting that time, I began to process and work through any wounds. I gave that wounded part of my childhood the grace, tenderness, and love it needed. I began to forgive myself and others by looking over my childhood. I also relearned all the good parts of my youth and vibrancy because that was my true self. I began to remember how I had a great support system in my family, how I loved to dance, go to the park and go on the swings, paint, and swim. Revisiting my childhood and remembering all these things excited me and made me want to relive and do all the things I enjoyed doing as a child. Revisiting my childhood led me to my true self.
You can find a lot about your wounds or triumphs from childhood. As mentioned, looking back over your childhood is a great way to heal old wounds and discover who you are. If you want to connect with your inner child, here is what you can do. You can revisit your childhood by looking at old pictures and videos or having a still place to allow your mind to wander back. Write down anything you feel or notice, and pinpoint any wounds that may have been suppressed in your subconscious. Work through any painful memories and offer forgiveness for yourself and others. Give that child inside grace and love. Then look at any good childhood memories and do more of what made you feel good. Doing the good things will often help you feel more joy in your adult journey and lead you to your true self.
5—Positive self-talk
Revisiting my childhood taught me the importance of positive self-talk. Positive self-talk is simply gently talking to yourself as your counsel to discover where certain things in life stem from. I would practice positive self-talk anywhere. For example, anytime I felt any sadness, insecurity, or uneasy feeling, I would explain why I felt this way, pinpoint what triggered this feeling, and help release it. Practicing positive self-talk has been a game changer because, in this life, things will come and trigger you, especially when trying to find healing. Positive self-talk allows you to stay grounded and at peace in a word designed to break your peace of mind.
6—Strengthening my relationship with God
While I was discovering all these excellent new practices and ways of being, things still felt like something was missing. As mentioned, I was taking time away to work on my foundation, which mainly included my mind and spirit/soul. I realized that I had worked to refresh my mindset, and although my heart began to feel more awakened, the spirit/soul was still missing something. Through certain events, I attended church again and realized that the missing piece to restoring my soul was strengthening my relationship with God.
I realized that God was always there for me and was never to blame for anything wrong. I had to take accountability for the areas where I fell short. Taking that accountability allowed me to let God in again. By letting God in, I could forgive myself, forgive others and truly heal. I surrendered and recommitted myself to God through Christ Jesus, and life has been brighter. I began to see how God was always with me even when I couldn’t see God and how much God loved me. I began to see how God saw me, and my confidence returned, limiting beliefs were removed, and true healing took place.
I encourage you to get to know God for yourself because God is real and can do beautiful things in your life if you let down your walls and let God in. What helped me build my relationship with God was talking to him like a best friend or like my diary. I would just let it all out with God, and sometimes I would hear from God, and sometimes I wouldn’t hear anything, but I learned that when there is silence from God, it means that God trusts you enough to handle or come up with a solution to what you are facing. There is such light in knowing God, and I wish this for you.
7—Reaffirming & loving on myself
As I let God in and saw God's love for me, I began to love myself more. In loving myself, I was able to reaffirm myself. So often, we want other people to value us and speak highly of us. This is nice, but learning to speak highly and value ourselves is very important. So I had to learn how to reaffirm myself and love myself again. I learned this through all the positive self-talk. Through learning how to talk things out with me in a loving way. I learned how to reaffirm what I already knew about myself. Sometimes I would stare into the mirror and say, “you can do it.” Just little things like that mean a lot. I would also write down a list of positive things about myself. One exercise I found helpful was writing “I am” and listing all the positive things I feel I am. I would read this list often until I began to believe it. I would also listen to positive affirming playlists on apple, such as this self-love affirming playlist.
8—Taking pride in my appearance
As I began to see myself how God sees me, I started to develop my confidence again. This led to me taking more care of my outward appearance and cherishing myself. I began to treat myself like royalty, like God’s princess. I took lavish baths; I took time to find skincare products and fragrances that made me light up. I started to work out and dress up modestly again. Taking pride in my appearance made me feel like myself.
Seeing the breakdown at the start of my self-care journey turn into such a beautiful, refreshing journey is inspiring. Now, all that is left is to continue implementing everything I learned into my daily routine. All eight of these points I’ve shared now will play a massive part in my routine in 2023. I’m forever grateful for the wisdom given to me to recognize what I needed and now share this with you. I hope you find this information helpful. Please feel free to customize anything I have mentioned to suit your needs through your self-care journey. Always be gentle with yourself, give yourself grace, and love yourself.
